Q.  I am a divorced mother of two children.  Their father remarried, had more children and moved across the country.  His mother lives close to me and I have maintained a relationship with her because of the children (her grandchildren).  She is a very controlling woman and I’m getting fed up with her.  She constantly asks me to drive her places and visit her because she is lonely.  Now that my daughter drives, she started asking her for favors too.  My daughter has school and I have a full time job.  She will not move closer to her son because she gets better social services for the elderly …

Question: My 12 year old daughter and I are having a disagreement. She had a fight with her best friend and now that friend has turned some other girls against my daughter. This other girl lied about the cause of their fight. My daughter is miserable and feels isolated. She wants to let all the girls know via Facebook that this “friend” is a liar and she (my daughter) is not to blame. I say take the high road, don’t respond and let this blow over. My heart aches for my daughter because I went through a similar experience when I was her age, but I think she’s wrong to post something about it …

Q.  My boyfriend lives in one unit of a four-family house.  The other units are occupied by his parents and siblings.  My two-year old son and I recently moved in with him and have lost all privacy.  His family is very close but they have no boundaries.  The doors are always open and everyone feels free to walk into each other’s space at any time.  His family members have occasionally borrowed my clothes and jewelry and I once woke up in the middle of the night and found his sister in our bathroom!  My boyfriend and I have talked about moving into our own place, but that has not happened yet…

Question: My daughter lives at home while attending a local college. Her friend who attends the same school had a fight with her mother and was thrown out of her home. I felt sorry for her and took her in. I thought this would last for a few days but it’s been over one month and there is no indication of her returning home. When she is not attending classes, she sleeps late, watches TV and eats whatever she finds in my kitchen. I helped her find a part-time job but she hasn’t earned enough to support herself or even pay for room and board at my home. Her presence has taken a toll on the …

Question: My husband was raised by strict parents and I was raised by lenient parents. As adults, we each realized that neither extreme was beneficial. My husband feared his parents and was shamed by them. My parents gave me too much freedom and I grew up with few boundaries. We are now parents and have come to an agreement about raising our children with a combination of “love and limits.”The problem is when our parents visit. My parents don’t approve when I give mychildren a time out to cool down after they misbehave. My in-laws don’t approve of how we “talk” to our children about their “…

Question: Since my husband and I became parents 7 months ago, we haven’t had any quality time alone together. Our focus seems to always be on our son. I love being a mom but I also miss being a couple. How can I make the adjustment? Answer: You could start by giving yourself a break. I mean this in two very distinct ways.  First, go easy on yourself regarding your couple relationship since the first year as parents is a time for both of you to adjust. Your son is growing and so are you in your new role. Your emotions and your hormones need some time to get balanced. Second, take a break from …

My dad, sister and I were on a ski trip in Utah recently when Dad suddenly died after a massive stroke (not while skiing). Dad was 84 and in great shape. He did 50 pushups daily and swam four times a week. Lesson One: Exercise no matter what your age. He skied most of his life but decided to take it easier this year and only ski one black diamond (expert) slope per day. Lesson Two: Be sensible. Dad taught me to ski when I was four.  When I was afraid to ski down what seemed like a difficult slope, dad told me to keep saying “I am going to make it.” Lesson Three: Encourage your children to …

QUESTION: My 13-year-old daughter and I used to be very close and she would tell me everything. She has recently become distant. How can I get my “old” daughter back? ANSWER: I have good news and bad news for you. The bad news is that you can’t get your “old” daughter back and that’s because she is getting "older." The good news is that you can redefine your relationship and enjoy it on a whole new level. That will take some work on both your parts. The “old” daughter you long for is really your wish for that close mother/daughter relationship that you once had. Mother/daughter relationships …

Question: I am going through a divorce and facing life as a single mother of two young children. Valentine’s Day is approaching and I am not feeling the love.  When I see all the ads and hear all the romantic songs, I feel depressed. How do I deal with that? Dear Lonely and Loveless, Valentine’s Day brings up many feelings when you are not in a romantic relationship (and even if you are in one). Now is the time to focus on loving yourself and your children.  Below are some tips for singles to get through and even enjoy Valentine’s Day: Buy yourself the perfect card or gift-the one you wish …