Dream Jobs and Dream Relationships

There was an article last week at the WSJ penned by Sue Shellenbarger about "dream jobs". Contrary to common wisdom, 3 out of 4 employees who have been polled have indicated they like their current job status and have no desire to go up the corporate ladder. Some like their job/personal life balance, some like their current tasks,, while others prefer their current office dynamic. Why change something that is working out well. As the old saw goes, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."The author's advice is that it is helpful for employees who are happy where they are to let their supervisors know this. This avoids the situation where one is given a "promotion" that they neither seek nor want.

Some who do take a promotion may find that it is not working out. The suggestion is made that after a period of time has passed, a conversation take place wherein the employee explains why the new move has not worked out. This honest discussion is an alternative to the other option of the employee getting a poor evaluation or a "pink slip" due to their work performance. An unhappy employee is often an underachieving employee.

As I read this article, I thought of marital happiness. Every marriage has challenges and "rough spots". While it may be appealing to leave your first (and hence "dream) marriage for another venture, it belies the fact that marriages require work and dedication. It is not often true that a "promotion" a new marital relationship will bring greater happiness. One needs to treat marriage as an enterprise that needs constant work. Cutting and running when problems arise is not necessarily  a wise option.

The founder of Wrigley's gum was once asked why he invested so much money in advertising. Didn't people already know enough about his product? Mr. Wrigley stated that this question was tantamount to asking why a pilot kept his engines running when he was already in midair. Wouldn't he save gas by turning off the engines at that time? A marital relationship is similar. It requires constant attention, communication and work. But it is usually worth the effort to keep that dream relationship. There is no guarantee that a "promotion" to another relationship will bring greater happiness and fulfillment.

Martin Rosenfeld is a Fair Lawn Family Mediator and Attorney. He can be contacted at: Rosenfeld@Juno.Com or 201.794.4545